835 responses so far ↓

• 1 brandon@elbo.ws // Mar 3, 2006 at 8:48 am

  I think my favorite is ‘Strange Flavour of inside Freasure’.. I simply can’t imagine ordering that.

  Awesome work on the site, we enjoy reading it.

• 2 eyal // Mar 3, 2006 at 9:29 am

  I love it. Dont stop posting.

• 3 Anonymous // Mar 4, 2006 at 2:56 pm

  too funny - can’t stop laughing - keep it coming!

• 4 codeman38 // Mar 5, 2006 at 1:22 am

  Must’ve been translated by the same person as these menus:

  http://community.livejournal.com/engrish/164141.html

  I guess one should be glad they were only serving ’sidersts’ and not ‘west many privates’…

  (Comment deleted and reposted to make the link clickable, and because I got 四 and 西 mixed up in coming up with my ‘translation’…in my defense, I was tired.)

• 5 David // Mar 5, 2006 at 5:01 pm

  Personally, “Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole” is the one which cracks me up…

• 6 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2006 at 12:24 pm

  It must be a machine translation job.

• 7 Garrett // Mar 6, 2006 at 12:58 pm

  I managed to restrain myself until you got to “Duck bukkake”.

• 8 Anonymous // Mar 6, 2006 at 6:56 pm

  Oh dear… I don’t know whether I should be furious, cry till no tears are left, or collapse from laughter.

  Those machine translations are terrible! Particularly if you read both languages. Gah! =^P

• 9 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:28 am

  Cowboy Leg, Beautiful Pole… if you ask me that sounds like a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ synopsis.

• 10 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:50 am

  I have not laughed so hard in a very long time!

• 11 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:43 am

  Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
  Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
  Keep makin’ shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers won’t know what’s happening.

• 12 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 12:59 pm

  Oh, this is so not made up. I’ve travelled to China for 20 years and this is TYPICAL, though I must admit it’s a classic example. If you read Chinese (as the previous commenter clearly doesn’t), you can see exactly how each of the errors was made. They’re all perfectly logical, even if the result is unintentionally hilarious.

  Take #1313, “Benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk.” It should read “Hot and spicy garlic greens stir-fried with shredded dried tofu.” However, the mangled version above is not as mangled as it seems: it’s a literal word-by-word translation, with some cases where the translator chose the wrong one of two meanings of a word:

  First two characters: “ma la” meaning hot and spicy, but literally “numbingly spicy” — it means a kind of Sichuan spice that mixes chilies with Sichuan peppercorn or prickly ash. The latter tends to numb the mouth. “Benumbed hot” is a decent, if ungrammatical, literal translation.

  Next two: “jiu cai,” the top greens of a fragrant-flowering garlic. There’s no good English translation, so “vegetables” is just fine.

  Next one: “chao,” meaning stir-fried, quite reasonably rendered as “fries” (should be “fried,” but that’s a distinction English makes and Chinese doesn’t).

  Finally: “gan si” meaning shredded dried tofu, but literally translated as “dry silk.” The problem here is that the word “gan” means both “to dry” and “to do,” and the latter meaning has come to mean “to fuck.” Unfortunately, the recent proliferation of Colloquial English dictionaries in China means people choose the vulgar translation way too often, on the grounds that it’s colloquial. Last summer I was in a spiffy modern supermarket in Taiyuan whose dried-foods aisle was helpfully labeled “Assorted Fuck.” The word “si” meaning “silk floss” is used in cooking to refer to anything that’s been julienned — very thin pommes frites are sold as “potato silk,” for instance. The fact that it’s tofu is just understood (sheets of dried tofu shredded into julienne) — if it were dried anything else it would say so.

  See?

  Best wishes from an anonymous professor of China studies

• 13 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 1:06 pm

  I just choked on my own saliva from laughing too hard. I wonder if that’s on the menu anywhere?

• 14 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 4:22 pm

  This is too funny, but I wish I knew Chinese, because the Anon. Prof. is right - it’s funnier when you can see how it got mistranslated.

  As for the person tired of just seeing how non-English speakers mangle English, check out Hanzi Smatter (www.hanzismatter.com) for examples of American manglings and misuses of Chinese & Japanese. (I’m not affiliated with that site in any way, just a big fan.)

• 15 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 7:27 pm

  The Olive Garden is the only restaurant offically reconized as the “shame of Italy”. on the commercial “pappa comes from the old country”, MY ASS, i’ve eaten 2 day old macaronni and cheese that was better!

• 16 Dawn // Mar 7, 2006 at 8:22 pm

  I LOVED it!!!!!!! Hahahahaha.

• 17 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 10:47 pm

  Quote: “Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters.”

  Welcome to JPEG compression artifacts. Obviously you’ve never worked much with images, but maybe next time you see something like this you won’t look like such a fool.

  Also, this is the funniest Engrish I’ve seen in a long time… Carbon burns fresh particularly must? Hahaha… Thanks for posting.

• 18 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:00 pm

  Heh, and while I was posting, someone else pointed that out. Well, there you go, now you’ve got two people telling you the same thing, so maybe you’ll actually believe it.

• 19 Anonymous // Mar 7, 2006 at 11:00 pm

  To the anonymous commenter complaining about the ‘haze’ and ’square’: apparently you’re unfamiliar with compression artefacting, as well as with how badly languages can be translated into English if done simply by picking words from a dictionary and hoping.

  Since the latter has been explained, let me give you an incomplete summary of the former: when you take an image with a lot of contrasting colours, and manipulate either the actual size (that is, the dimensions) or the file size (that is, the compression), you sometimes get small but noticeable errors — the haze you pointed out is one of the more common expressions of those errors. (Actually you get them even in images with fewer colours, but they’re generally not as noticeable.) Try it yourself: take an image from a digital camera and save it as a JPEG with a low size/quality, then compare the two. Or take a small image and change the dimensions to something larger.

  BTW, the poster afterwards who helpfully explains? Thanks! I was trying to figure out how the hell ‘dry’ could turn into ‘fuck’, and now I know! (The only kanji dictionary I had handy was Japanese, which wasn’t helpful in figuring it out.)

• 20 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 6:09 am

  Reminds me of a couple of things — a Spanish cookbook I picked up years ago, with a recipe for Yorkshire Chicken, directing one to brown the chicken in a quarter cup of hot fart, and a machine translation I did a couple of years ago, of a letter in Hungarian, the closing of which was translated into “Love, Outhouse,” instead of “Love, John.”

• 21 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 9:39 am

  The funniest one to me is the STAGHSSD NOODLE, because what the professor posted made a lot of sense, but I don’t understand how anything could ever be translated to STAGHSSD.

• 22 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 10:08 am

  Wow, Last time I checked we lived in the US where we have free speech. So, really if you don’t like the page then you don’t have to come back. And the Asian community has the same thing for our botching the Asian languages. I, personally love this site and have many friends that like it too, including some Asian friends. I don’t see the poster as having a malicious or racists agenda here. Ah, hello, his family is Chinese.
  Anyways, 2 thumbs up Jon, and gold circles to you and yours. :O)

• 23 Rolando Garza // Mar 8, 2006 at 11:41 am

  Mmmm… duck Bukkake. Great find, and great writeup.

• 24 Soul Ajax // Mar 8, 2006 at 12:15 pm

  Having lived in Thailand before for three years and traveled India for 6 months. I can totally understand about this. However, this is by far the fucking funniest broken English menu ever!

• 25 Shunra // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:34 pm

  Oh, I laughed so hard I was crying - and blogged your entries in my for-translators blog.

  That has got to be the funniest menu I’ve ever seen, far transcending the “red whine” and its ilk.

  I’m wondering about that mountain, though. I’ve got this teenage son, you see…

• 26 Emese // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:40 pm

  LMFAO! That’s cool. And getting a bit sexual at the end…fuck, rape…mmmm LOL

• 27 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:49 pm

  anonymous professor of China studies, would you please explain “every form rape”?

• 28 Poposhka // Mar 8, 2006 at 1:51 pm

  Staghssd Noodle … Briliant … It’s like a menu from “The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy”.

• 29 Wing // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:03 pm

  Anon professor is right—all of these are word-by-word translations without context. Someone mechanically went through every word and took the first meaning in the dictionary. Whoever wrote this menu DOES NOT KNOW ENGLISH, AT ALL. Otherwise the word “fuck” would not appear at all on the menu.

  Rape (pronounced ra-pe) is a type of vegetable. “Various rape” originally meant “rape, prepared in any way you want”, i.e., fried with garlic, boiled, etc.

  Interestingly enough: when they say “bowel”, they do mean bowel—well, intestine, actually. And the frog desert is actually made of a type of frog.

  Spring chicken means a young chicken, by the way.

• 30 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:14 pm

  LOL! LOL! LOL!!! Whew!

• 31 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 4:36 pm

  My friend lived in China for 2 years and sent me many funny stories of bad English translations. One of my favorites was when he had a bug problem in his apartment. He asked a Chinese co-worker what to buy to get rid of the bugs. His co-worker told him not to worry about it and that he had just the thing to fix the problem. Later that day his co-worker returned with a bottle of bug spray labeled “The Monarch of Genocide” He really had to queston wether he wanted to spray that stuff around his home.

• 32 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 9:41 pm

  Burn those machine translators!!! But those are hilarious! LOL

• 33 Anonymous // Mar 8, 2006 at 10:35 pm

  Funny stuff. When I lived in China, I often wondered if I could make a living correcting the horrible English on signs at cultural sites. Maybe if that didn’t work, I could translate menus, too.

  PS - Don’t know if it’s just me, but that page is in serious need of word-wrap.

• 34 kinu // Mar 8, 2006 at 11:56 pm

  Truly amazing. I’ve seen some pretty poor menu translations in my day, but this certainly takes the duck bukkake… I mean, cake.

• 35 Borimira // Mar 9, 2006 at 4:43 am

  Laughed my head off!!! However, appreciated the poetry of the language… Poetry is incredibly difficult to translate into another language of different cultural background, trying to keep the assossiations of both and managing to keep some sense in the process. Appreciated the honest effort too - that is a big detailed menu… Whether the effort was successful - well, it made us all laugh, didn’t it? Come on guys, say thank you for the serendipity!…

• 36 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 5:35 am

  There is some funny shit on the net these days, but I have not laughed that hard for a while. I had to stop looking at it and come back because I couldn’t breathe. It’s funny because it’s a printed menu in a restaurant. It’s funny because they don’t know any better. It’s funny because they’re probably proud of it and would be insulted if someone pointed out mistakes. It’s just pure lol. You couldn’t make that shit up.

• 37 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 5:40 am

  Also, if anyone thinks this form of humour is racist, go get a brain. I’ve had my foreign language skills laughed at, and although it was insulting, I didn’t for a moment feel that it was a racial slur. Just get a brain if you think this is racist humour. lol.

• 38 butshebites // Mar 9, 2006 at 7:37 am

  first thing i read today, thanks for putting me in irreverent mode, now I’m stuck

• 39 AJ // Mar 9, 2006 at 8:23 am

  Does anybody know what Fuck the salt( beautiful pole) duck chin is?

• 40 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 8:24 am

  Funniest thing I’ve read in years, Paddy

• 41 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:21 am

  These are great!

  I assume “cowboy” is a bad translation of the Chinese for “lamb”?

• 42 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:23 am

  the chin is the best part of the duck after all

• 43 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:43 am

  To the author: could you delete that retarded “Woooooooo….” comment? It ruins the line breaks on the page.

  Thanks,
  Ben

• 44 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 12:40 pm

  Got off a plane in Dallas. Went to a Chinese Restaurant. The waitress barely spoke english. It is a buffet and she brings a plate, then leans forward and asks if I would like pussy. I had just come off a plane and my ears were still shot so I asked her to repeat it. She did. All I could say was “Uh, no.”

  It was later that I realized she wanted to know if I wanted a Pepsi.

• 45 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:05 pm

  I can laugh at these realizing that their English is much better than my Chinese.
  As someone who owned Japanese cars and motorcycles when they were first brought to the U.S., I can assure you that there were some hilarious mistranslations there.

  I always assumed there was someone back in Japan who, with his one semester of English, said, yes, boss, I can write the instructions for installing that part.

• 46 Ariel // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:34 pm

  I think what disturbs me the most is the fact that they’re serving “Cowboy Leg Beautiful Pole”, and not simply commenting on Heath Ledger’s package…

• 47 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 1:42 pm

  I’m glad I wasn’t trying to drink something when I read this. This gets a 99.5 . If I followed the rule of ordering only what I recognized, I’d have a Coke and the broiled squid. Mmmmmm.

• 48 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:03 pm

  This made me piss my pants, i was lauphing so hard

• 49 ed // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:08 pm

  Did you notice that, in the second menu item, there is a choice between “Fresh Mixed Fruit Salad” and “Mixed Fruit Salad”? And the non-Fresh variety is more expensive? I guess rotting fruit might be a bit more of a delicacy…

• 50 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 2:10 pm

  People should realize that these translations were probably done by some person with an English-Chinese dictionary. Then they wrote it down, and the people at the printing press not knowing any English either, tries to read the sloppy handwriting and so they can’t get the spelling right either. So while these are extremely entertaining, you should also realize that very few restraurants in China actually have English menus, and the upper-class ones will have professional translators to make a really good menu, so these occur only once in a while.

  Oh, about the three ingredient thing, You want to know that they are? You’ll have to ask, because many Chinese dishes have names like Potroast with 5 ingredients. They are commonly know items to put into that kind of dish in China, so the orginal name assumes the person already know what those ingredients are. And of course the dummy with the dictionary translates it litteraly and doesn’t consider people who will need to read the English menu probably also don’t know that those ingredients are either.

• 51 Chris // Mar 9, 2006 at 3:32 pm

  holy fuck! I am sitting in the library shaking and crying. People are looking, staring, and probably pointing. This is GREAT!
  I would like to borrow a small jpeg to point some friends (or non-friendly people who stop by my blog)if that’s ok?

  Please post morelike this!

• 52 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 3:35 pm

  The guy, or woman, that said this was fake is a proponent of reverse racism. Trying to pick a fight. I know of no other culture that makes more fun of itself and its mistakes and I was raised in Southeast Asia. This person needs to take a chill pill, I think it was #43 on the menu. And if he/she can’t translate that … fuck off…start trouble back in your own country. I think they tolerate disssention in China about as liberally as you tolerate this posting.

• 53 Anonymous // Mar 9, 2006 at 7:54 pm

  What’s with the letters? (word verificcation)

• 54 jon // Mar 9, 2006 at 9:51 pm

  had to delete a few comments - some numbnuts posted 3 MEGABYTES of “Woooooot” after a few others had done nearly the same. I’m watching the comments now. More Mangled English coming soon - I have TONS!

  –Jon Rahoi

• 55 BeckoningChasm // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:13 pm

  I laughed so hard at this I nearly punctured a lung. Good stuff.

• 56 Red A // Mar 9, 2006 at 10:51 pm

  Every Form Rape should be something like “All Kinds of Rapeseed” (literally oily plant.)

• 57 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:12 am

  omg!!! This is so damn funny! Those guys really have to go for english classes…

• 58 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:38 am

  A couple of my favorites from China-
  In a shop called “Many Girl”

  Please do not touch yourself
  Let us help you to do it

  And the main sign of quite a large hospital

  The Arsehole Hospital

  The last has since been changed and now reads The Anal Hospital.

  Keep it up its all fun

• 59 Lonnie // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:43 am

  Absolutely hilarious. Dave Barry is an amazing source of cultural craziness. Read his book Dave Barry Does Japan for the best book I have read on Japanese culture. Be prepared to laugh yourself hoarse.

  I live on the Chinese mainland and see this kind of thing all the time.

  I agree that this was probably manually translated by someone with the aid of a machine translator. And while I am sure his English is better than my Chinese the guy needs a proof reader.

  I haven’t laughed this hard since I watched the English subtitled version of Star Wars: http://www.onemanbandwidth.com/wordpress/?p=118

  Nihao from China.

  LON

• 60 Lonnie // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:45 am

  Wait! You are Dave Barry!

• 61 Cardinal Dextrous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:38 am

  Juice of steams the fish mouth

  HAHAHAHA! What? This is genius. There’s a french lemonade called “Pschitt” (pron. Shit) which I always buy loads of whenever I’m over there.

• 62 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:55 am

  Did anyone else notice the fucking “blah blah blah Taiwan sausage (3T) THAT MEANS THREE FUCKIN’ TONS!!! sooo, in conclusion….lo friggin’ l!

• 63 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:07 am

  I just laughed so much I cried! Yay to b3ta for linking to you!!

• 64 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:30 am

  Even the Chinese is not fully accurate at parts. I wonder why they chose to use words that sounds the same rather than actual names.

  E.g, Tuna fish isn’t written like that. There’s a Chinese word for it.

• 65 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:41 am

  I am in High School and I was in class “listening” to the teacher talk while reading this. At first I disguised the laugh as a cough but twords the end I busted! The teacher was like “what the h**l are you looking at”. Which made me laugh even more. Thanks!!!!!!

• 66 PK // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:18 am

  This is hilarious! As if the menu wasn’t funny enough, the comments were even funnier.

  Question: There are many references to a menu item called Duck Bukkake, but I cannot find it on the menu; where is it?

  Thanks for the laugh!

• 67 Jay // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:20 am

  I think I just got a hankering for some rurality salad.

• 68 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:47 am

  Oh, God, this is hilarious… I can’t believe they translated the words ”directly” into English…

• 69 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:48 am

  Just one question - what did you actually order?

• 70 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:49 am

  Just one question - what did you order?

• 71 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:00 am

  wow.

• 72 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:00 am

  wow.

• 73 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:02 am

  Man, I can’t recall having laughed that hard, well, ever! You just made my year!

• 74 Janey // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:15 am

  I’d like to order the ‘fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin’, but hold the chin. And can I choose the size of my beautiful pole, it’s been a while. And won’t the salt sting?

• 75 abbyladybug // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:28 am

  I’m reading this a second time, and tears are still streaming down my face.

• 76 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:52 am

  OMG SO FUNNY!!! we have all fallen off our chairs, ellie hyperventilated (twice) and charlie, i, squeeked, once to many a time, kate could not breathe - thank you fo giving us all our lives a purpose, LAUGHTER! heheheheheheheheheheheheheh , ow! my sides hurt…

• 77 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:01 am

  Carbon Burns Black Bowel!!

  That sounds like hell!.. for only 3.8

• 78 Ed W. // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:00 am

  This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.

• 79 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:03 am

  “Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
  Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
  Keep makin’ shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers won’t know what’s happening.”

  GIMME A BREAK. ITS FUNNY AND IN NO WAY DIRECTED TOWARDS RACISM. I WAS NOT OFFENDED…I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST WET MYSELF. I WOULD LOVE TO TRY COWBOY LEG BEAUTIFUL POLE WITH A SIDE OF DUCK BUKKAKE, PLEASE.

• 80 Daralis Devon // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:18 am

  OMG
  I haven’t EVER laughed so hard in my entire life…I wonder if my school’s computers will let us go to this site…
  Anyways, thanks for the laughs!

• 81 Victoria // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:33 am

  I’m absolutely wetting myself, i think the comments made by the narrator add an element to it too!!!!! please please please give me more!!!!!!

• 82 mike // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:39 am

  i just cant stop laughing.
  did they know no english at all cos its the same kind of quality translating as these online translator things

• 83 Traitorfish // Mar 10, 2006 at 12:29 pm

  Holy Flirking Shnit, that’s messed up. how exactly do you “fuck the salt”?

• 84 Casey WIllson // Mar 10, 2006 at 12:48 pm

  Oh, Thank you! Having made my own mistakes in learning a foreign language I assure you I’m laughing WITH, not AT. Anyone who has offered their underpants as cleaning rags or called a priest a Pimp cannot ever laugh AT.
  But I laughed WITH so much that I couldn’t see to read more! This is marked a favorite! Casey

• 85 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm

  Great! I am proficient in chinese and english and can’t stop laughing at the translation….must be using some online translation service…

  thanks for sharing!

• 86 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:54 pm

  real or fake who cares, it made me laugh and i am sure others also, life is short be happy. words do lose in translation, same for spanish.

• 87 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 1:58 pm

  .

  The people that think this posting is racist… are silly. You know, if I planned on opening an American restaurant in China… I would LEARN SOME CHINESE first. Otherwise, I just might look like a jackass and I would expect some ribbing from the locals when I accidentally mislabel my sausage as “roast donkey penis”, etc.

  And, yes, I do understand that there are more socioeconomic factors that can hinder language adoption in China, etc. BUT, English is relatively easy to learn and it’s very accessible. I’m not saying that everyone HAS to learn English before coming to America… but they certainly SHOULD if they want to eat fuck less cowboy leg strange. And the same goes for Americans tromping around in other countries. Cultural respect is a two-way street.

  - Cowicide (extreme moderate)

  http://iamtv.tv

  .

• 88 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:07 pm

  “Cowboy” is not lamb, as one poster suggested, it’s veal.

  I had my own menu favorites from our years in Japan (such as “mashed bee”), but this selection is tops!

• 89 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:11 pm

  Lol. ‘Fuck the salt’ Is that healthy?

• 90 Loz // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm

  Dude. It’s so not racist. Stop being so politically correct. I thought it was fecking hilarious. Especially the ‘benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk’ Can carrots even THINK about that kind of stuff!? Lmao. Keep it coming, dudes.

• 91 Riley // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm

  COWBOY LEG!

• 92 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:25 pm

  I think these were all translated by an American who called themself as “Chinese Experts”, they live in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan and teaching English for living, but most of them can’t or only read a little bit of Chinese, according to the list of the menu, they are not tranditional Chinese characters, those Chinese characters were invented by Hong Kong people, you can’t find those characters in the Chinese dictionnary,the translation in English are using the word that are not common to any Chinese, I don’t think a Chinese person can comes up with this kind of translation. Open your mind and think, if this make sense to you at all. These translation were done by a non-responsible American.

• 93 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:29 pm

  Well, as far as fakes go, this is one of the more amusing ones. I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language. I mean, am I the only one who is getting a little tired of this form of racism??
  Well, judging by the comments here, yes I am. oh well.
  Keep makin’ shit up I guess. People seem to enjoy it. Just please, try to get in a little more practice on your PhotoShop. you can see the haze (and in some cases, even a freaking SQUARE) around the letters and characters. At least make these so that non Mandarin speakers won’t know what’s happening.

  ——————–

  whoever wrote that i have thing to say, who the fuck cares. u gotta admit its funny. u prolly wouldnt think like that if it was some indian restaurant menue with the same mistakes and if it is fake it still made a lot of ppl laugh and that’s all that should matter. im half chinese myself and i wasnt thinking for 1 second the person who post this up was racist, its just a joke. He prolly found something funny and just wanted to share this with everybody…so if u dunt want to see “shit” like this dunt bother coming into sites like this

  anywayz lol…this site honestly made my day

• 94 Jenni // Mar 10, 2006 at 2:46 pm

  ROFL! This is great! thank you for making my day!

• 95 :: Rogue :: // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:14 pm

  “FRUIT IN EYES!!!”

  Brilliant stuff. It looks like the entire thing was run through Babelfish.

• 96 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:23 pm

  They are just trying to make it easier for you guys. Be nice and don’t be so mean on the translation.

• 97 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 3:35 pm

  Bukkake is a type of soba noodle, you tools.

• 98 PoopooLarson // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:21 pm

  I am putting replica manhole covers and sewers in Asia. If you want to send one to Japan, then guess what? It’s going to Japan.

• 99 Rob // Mar 10, 2006 at 4:35 pm

  I’m hungry

• 100 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:22 pm

  I’m chinese but grew up in Australia and I could actually read the chinese part of the menu and I find it so hilarious. My entire family is having a ball reading this. When we went to visit in China couple of years back I noticed that alot of places has really bad English translations posted for whatever reason. Is actually very embarrassing because people then think all Chinese people are like that.

• 101 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:49 pm

  There’s a doomed restaurant space on Phoenix’s main avenue that was a West Indian place for a while. I noticed that the menu, which seemed to be entirely composed by native English-speaking restaurant types, featured a “mescaline” salad. (I have to think they meant mesclun.) On my way out I mentioned it to the waitress and told her they might want to change it. “Wow, really,” she said. “The customer who edited that for us is sitting right there. . .”

• 102 Princess Sarah // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:51 pm

  hilarious!

• 103 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 5:57 pm

  Oh my god, oh my god! I can’t stop laughing…

• 104 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:10 pm

  fuck the salt? those are so funnay i havent laughed so hard in a long time, awesome job on making these

  about the cowboy legs, the chinese version meant cow boy but they put it together and that’s whatmakes it funny

• 105 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:27 pm

  this didn’t make me laugh at all, this was shit

• 106 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 6:49 pm

  to bad that every resturant in the world didn’t have to acomindate every other language. You stupid white people think it’s so easy to know English. Try learning a different language and write a book. I bet you couldn’t do it without messing up.

• 107 Jem // Mar 10, 2006 at 7:59 pm

  I also want to know what you ordered!

• 108 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:05 pm

  You might want to share your find with:

  http://www.engrish.com/

• 109 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:11 pm

  This must surely be from a restaraunt in Qingdao. Or somewhere else in the Shenzen kind of area.

  Worth noting that the translations are , from a Chinese point of view, almost completely literal.

  Chinese people could make no more sense of, say, ‘Scotch Egg’ or ‘Spotted Dick’, than we could make of some of their foods.

  They do a much better job of writing english than I ever could chinese. But it is still hilarious.

• 110 Schizohedron // Mar 10, 2006 at 8:58 pm

  Friggin’ classic example of Engrish. Even better than the fugazi subtitles on the Episode III bootleg from some months back. And anonymous haters can go to hell.

• 111 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 9:27 pm

  I can’t breath propely anymore I thank you gave me asthma from laughing so much - worth it

• 112 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:20 pm

  HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHHAHHHA OMG OMG I NEED TO GO TO CHINA!!!

  LMAO!!!

  -Cesar

• 113 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 10:45 pm

  ROFLMAO!!! I wet myself!

  WTF is “sparerib” or “Colour`s world”???
  Big Bowl white of immerses three pill WTF???
  Qiet Lady???

  Lthick mordacity - a thick opposition to biting - What I feel about the rest of the menu

  – Burning Pi

• 114 Anonymous // Mar 10, 2006 at 11:10 pm

  oh my gosh my stomach hurts from laughing so hard. that was awesome. shoot me now i can’t stop laughing. thanks
  misty

• 115 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 12:32 am

  Thank you! I laughed so hard (2AM here) that I woke my daughter! I tucked her back into bed and I had to post a comment here!

  I’m Chinese living in USA. I speak and write Chinese and have parents living with me that to this day translates their thoughts from Chinese to English word for word. We have many laughs in our house here because of that. Life’s too short. Learn to laugh, especially at one’s self. It’ll make a happier life. Heck, if I’m Chinese and don’t find this offensive, why should anyone else.

• 116 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 2:01 am

  “Sidrsts” is actually what we Americans call French Toast. The Chinese is “West toast” (or Western Toast). “Do-si” is the Cantonese transliteration for toast.

  A “geng” is a thick soup (as opposed to “tong”, a broth-based soup).

  I don’t get how “cowboy leg” got into 5001. If you compare it to “cowboy leg” in the 3rd graphic, it’s completely different.

• 117 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 3:49 am

  I think these were all translated by an American who called themself as “Chinese Experts”, they live in China, Hong Kong or Taiwan and teaching English for living, but most of them can’t or only read a little bit of Chinese, according to the list of the menu, they are not tranditional Chinese characters, those Chinese characters were invented by Hong Kong people, you can’t find those characters in the Chinese dictionnary,the translation in English are using the word that are not common to any Chinese, I don’t think a Chinese person can comes up with this kind of translation. Open your mind and think, if this make sense to you at all. These translation were done by a non-responsible American.

  —————–
  Whoever said this is a HUGE idiot that can’t deal with a bit of laughter. If it was somebody who was a native English speaker, they would have KNOWN these translations were wrong because they wouldn’t make sense in their own language. Obviously it’s somebody who doesn’t know any English…

• 118 icelava // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:42 am

  http://engrish.com/

• 119 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:44 am

  I haven’t laughed this hard in years.

• 120 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:45 am

  I haven’t laughed this hard in years.

• 121 teph // Mar 11, 2006 at 4:54 am

  hey anoymous dude
  you know, they do the same in china, making fun of foreigners for their chinese
  eg bank of china, thought it was china is very good (only a bit of difference) also, i highly doubt its a fake. there are stupid things out there in the world, waiting to be laughed at.

  anyway, those must be the most screwed up translations ever. Sure, i’ve seen pirated discs on the back with a completely different blurb to the cd, (side dish of bad spolling included) but who would put the word fuck in a menu?

• 122 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:54 am

  I think “Cowboy Leg, Beautiful Pole” should be Ang Lee’s next film. You could call it “Brokeback Mountain” meets “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”!

• 123 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 9:28 am

  Yo Mama Cracker Fishfuck

• 124 Gina Cobb // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:24 am

  Linked at:

  World’s Worst Chinese Menu Translation

  Thanks for the hilarious post!

• 125 blogagog // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:36 am

  On an unrelated note… Does anyone know where I can find some pretty salt?

• 126 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 11:58 am

  The poor restaurant owner (most likely doesn’t know a word of English) translated the Chinese menu word for word literally with a Chinese-English dictionary, hoping to get some English speaking customers. The profit they made on you, say $0.20 max, is not even close to the entertainment they provided for you and your friends. Have you considered going back there and giving them some money? Or helping them with the translation, now you’ve gotten lots and lots of laughs out of it?

  I think it is dead funny too. I’m not offended as an Asian-American, like white trashes are not offended by “My name is Earl”. Talking about that, I think from karma perspective, you need to do something for that restaurant. Be a decent man and go back there and translate the menu for them, ok? Or your Chinese is not good enough to do that.

• 127 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 12:33 pm

  i’m laughing and crying so hard, i scared my cat away. thanks for making my day!

• 128 Lugubert // Mar 11, 2006 at 2:21 pm

  Four years later, I still regret that I didn’t buy the cook-book in Swedish that I found in Greece.

  Take out your liver, wash it and cut it into small pieces.

  So you don’t have to travel very long to find things affecting your appetite.

• 129 Fiona Dudley // Mar 11, 2006 at 5:18 pm

  Two for the price of one - not only was this hysterically funny, it’s a real learning opportunity.I don’t know darn of Chinese, but it was obvious that somehow, someone or some software program was attempting to translate idiomatic expressions into literal English. Trying to decipher that process is worth much more than the laughs. And I am sure that if I attempted to translate any English into any other language, the results would be just as outrageous and I would be laughing at my own attempts right along with the native speakers.

• 130 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 7:05 pm

  ‘Every Form Rape’? That’s not a food, that’s a sex crime…
  This is sooo funny - better than the Italian Laundry notice that said ‘Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having fun’.

• 131 jackalsandjays // Mar 11, 2006 at 7:46 pm

  “Man fruit braise the north almond” either has to be a line from a Robert Bly poem, or a coded message from a terrorist group. Either way, I’ll have a steamin’ heap!
  Hey, it’s not just the Chinese who have trouble with English syntax. There was a sign up in Hopkins, Minnesota for years on a candy manufacturing co. that read “People needed in December to pack fudge”. Lets see THEIR menu!
  Finally, I’ve seen this “fuck” thing in Chinatown in NYC plenty of times, sometimes scratched out by humorless fun-police visting the neighborhood. You poor people that can’t laugh, go chew on a duck chin!

• 132 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:05 pm

  Please forgive me, but I live way back in the woods and I don’t know what “lol” means. I get everything else. And, godamighty, am I hungry now!

• 133 jon // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:19 pm

  Hi all - thanks for the comments!

  to answer some questions, I had the “Sheep Leg New Zealand” and some form of “Staghssd Noodle.” A bunch of us shared steaks, too. It was quite good. My wife got “Carbon Burns the Black Bowel.” Yes, it was just as gross as it sounds.

  The restaurant was called “Edinburgh Western Chinese Restaurant.” It’s in Foshan, which is in the south of China. Famous for kung fu and now, for this.

  As for offering to help them translate the menu - they honestly don’t care. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had never had an English speaker in there before me. They do it to keep the appearance of being a western restaurant. But it matters little to them. Food is the true international language.

  For those of you who like this kind of thing, I’ve taken TONS of these kind of pics in my travels, and some are just as funny. Please look around - i have gathered some of them here.
  And of course, I have a few hundred more Mangled English (aka Manglish) pics that I haven’t even posted yet - stay tuned!

• 134 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:20 pm

  I was born with blocked tear ducts and never cried before… Not until reading this. This is honestly the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life.

• 135 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 8:26 pm

  Racist? Hell no. I lived over there for a year and a half, and the mistranslations are all over there.

  The “Fuck” ones are, admittedly, a little hard to figure, but for the most part, the translation looks almost right. Well, almost in that really fucked up way.

• 136 Anonymous // Mar 11, 2006 at 10:12 pm

  i am chinese. this is fake, all the translations by man are wrong.

• 137 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 2:08 am

  Every form rape? Dude, the entire menu is great! Where the hell did you find this?

• 138 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:09 am

  I am not chinese, but I also frown on all of mankinds inability to translate.

• 139 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:38 am

  haha, the translation is funny,right? As a Chinese student,i can’t help laughing at those automatic translations either.
  However, i am doing a research on how to put Chinese menu into English correctly.
  I think you might interest in Chinese food. Well… Would you recommend some website to me? I greatly appreciate your help. ^_^

  Nicole
  littlequin@hotmail.com

• 140 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:20 am

  I find it as mind boggling and as enchanting as Pi itself

  (it didn’t really say “Duck Bukkake” did it???)
  Shit like this makes me happy to be alive

  Hmmmmm Pi/Pie…..Circles…..the circle of life from a birth to a death, all I look for in life, is happyness (Pie)
  The planets appear circular from one perspective/distance…… every energy cannot vanish, only change, all life forms are made of the same things, everything relies on everything else…………

  awwww I wish clever people would hurry up and work out the universe so I could know everything before I croak.

  Ignorance = depression, depression = comfort eating…… comfort eating = Pie

  Pi is everything, everything is Pi
  nothing is anything
  everything is something.

  Duck Bukkake hahahahahaha
  (fuckin “sheet iron”? quality post!)

  http://www.craig-mansfield.co.uk/diary.html

• 141 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:26 am

  and…………….

  “I still a amazed at how many people still do this to make Chinese people seem continually unable to master the English language.”

  Oh the irony
  Calm doon, sell “frog leg”, and stop bullying Korea.

  (and the word “freakin” isn’t English, it’s American English (which is something of an oxymoron in my opinion) so your “mastery of the English Language” still needs some work, Brian…..or whatever name you’ve chosen to mask the fact that you’re actually called “Hung” which is another irony as you’re Chinese, and not
  hahaha)

  wa wa wahhhhhhhhhhh hahaha

• 142 Craig // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:29 am

  AND

  apparrenly I’m a “lovely puff”

  Lovely Puff from Hong Kong!

• 143 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:34 am

  the message is clear: if you can’t read chinese, go eat somewhere else, whitie.

• 144 Roberto // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:50 am

  Ok it’s slightly funny… but not that funny.
  Ger over yourselves, people!

  (not you, them)

• 145 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 11:22 am

  I’ll have the cowboy leg beautiful pole, please.

• 146 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 1:19 pm

  “every form rape” gets my vote.

  i’m reminded at this point of a local restaurant of our own… it’s english speaking and everything, but one of the things on the menu is the now infamous “wiener schnitzel”. one of the side orders is the “creamy poundies”. i reckon that if you can order a wiener schnitzel with creamy poundies without laughing in the waiter’s face, you don’t have to pay for it.

• 147 GacktLover // Mar 12, 2006 at 2:22 pm

  EVER FORM RAPE!!! WOOO!!! LMAO!!!!

• 148 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:22 pm

  oh my god. I just died. That was too funny. lol

• 149 Jass // Mar 12, 2006 at 3:52 pm

  I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!

  I have a Chinese menu with only one error.. instead of Hunan Shrimp, the printed error reads ‘Human Shrimp’…lol! This still does not compare!

  Thanks for sharing!

  Jass

• 150 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 4:10 pm

  I’m sure it says something terrible about my sense of humor, but I love this sort of thing. I love it even more when I make the mistake myself. Once when I was visiting Germany I got hopelessly lost. Fortunately, I had a map. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any street signs (they’re on the buildings, not on separate poles like in the US). Finally I found one. Rescused! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it on the map…after a longish period of looking, I thought more about what the sign actually said: Einbahnstrasse…One (something I didn’t recognize at the time) street…Oh: one way street. I laughed so hard at myself I nearly fell over. Fortunately, my hysterical laughter attracted a friendly English speaker who oriented me. I still can’t believe I fell for the old “tourist writes down the name of the street she’s staying on from a sign outside her hotel, only to find out that the sign said ‘one way street’” trick. I’m probably just lucky that I didn’t follow the signs to the famous town of Umleitung.

• 151 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 5:07 pm

  It’s very common that even Chinese don’t know the meaning of the dishes’ names without pictures since they often have “so literally beautiful” names. Forget the name, just watch the picture and the stuffs, watch out garlic and pepper if you don’t like them.

  BTW,the street signs in Germany are always by the crossings, not even on the Buildings.

• 152 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:02 pm

  A friend of mine sent me the website address and I personally think that it is brilliant I honestly could not stop laughing, really funny. do you have anymore

• 153 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:22 pm

  That was awesome, thank you!! By the way, I’m Chinese myself but grew up in the States. I LOVE mistranslations =)

• 154 anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:23 pm

  That was awesome, thank you!! By the way, I’m Chinese myself but grew up in the States. I LOVE mistranslations =)

• 155 Anonymous // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:29 pm

  I´ll have a ‘fuck the salt (beautiful pole) duck chin´…with a Coca Coca…with a cowboy stick, thanks.

  LOL

  LMAO!!

  HAHAHAHAHA…

  GREAT!!!

• 156 Matt // Mar 12, 2006 at 6:48 pm

  I swear to you, I have not laughed this hard in years.

• 157 Lyn // Mar 12, 2006 at 11:01 pm

  personally I find all the whitie comments offensive. what’s up with that guys? can’t you be above this? if you don’t like it, fine, I wasn’t real wild about the menu either. I’m a half breed myself and didn’t particularly find it funny, but it also wasn’t offensive. But honestly, you think calling people whitie is gonna solve anything? aren’t you doing exactly to us what you hate??? get over it, I did.

• 158 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 1:12 am

  the concept is older than jesus riding a dinosaur, but some of that had me laughing to the point of tears! i’m crying for the first time in a very long time!

• 159 MM // Mar 13, 2006 at 1:52 am

  Oh…this is heartily brilliant.

  I can only add to it by letting you know that Restaurant Number 13, at (shock of shocks) 13 Ngo Duc Ke Street, in Ho Chi Minh City, is a seafood restaurant that features “fried crap” on its menu.

  Having lived here a while, I suspect that it’s either fried carp or fried crab, but honestly, I’m too scared to ask.

• 160 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:27 am

  Upper-class English pronunciation explains some of the mistranslation - the long “a” sound in glass and grass (as if spelt glahss and grahss) has been mistakenly added to “fat” (making fart) which upper-class English would pronounce “fet” (approximately).

• 161 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:36 am

  I hate to be a pain in the ass but I’m going to agree with that last Anonymous. This was funny but it is a form of racism. Whoever translated this menu, they did a whole lot better than I would have if I tried to translate a diner menu into Mandarin.

• 162 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:54 am

  Damn, this was hard to read and the laughing + tears did not help at all, great work

• 163 RandomDNA // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:12 am

  5001 to 5004’s english translation is shifted by one. So the chinese in 5001 corresponds to the english for 5002 and so on. 5005 has no translation into english, since 5006 has the correct translation. The infamous “cowboy leg beautiful pole” is probably a translation of the item that came before 5001, which is veal leg BBQ by the way. As already explained cowboy leg is really veal leg. beautiful is the chinese mei, which is also the the abbreviated form of america in chinese, especially in adjectives. The word “pole” probably came from the chinese for style. So beautiful pole refers to american style, which since the 90s has came to be synonymous with BBQ. So “Cowboy leg beautiful pole” is most likely: Veal leg BBQ

• 164 Planty // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:28 am

  To the people who think this site is racist - you are sad, humourless retards. Laughing at badly translated english is not racist and if you think so you obviously dont understand the meaning of the word.

  I find it amusing when people tell Jon to: “try learning chinese if you think it’s easy” and “you should get yourself some chinese friends and learn about there culture before mocking them” When he lives in China, with a chinese wife and speaks there language perfectly!

  Sorry for the length, girth, width of this post

• 165 John Stone // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:48 am

  That is screamingly funny … I posted a link on my blog this morning ….

• 166 A // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:12 am

  LMAO!! This is so ridiculous, I’m shaking my head thinking “this can’t be real?!”. And ‘every form rape’? Whoever they paid to print up their menus must’ve been laughing hysterically.

• 167 Simon Ayesse // Mar 13, 2006 at 2:40 pm

  oh my goodness… this is just too much fun. i love mistranslations and linguistic misadventure.

  as other comments have already alluded, i do feel rather sad for people who don’t have a sense of humor about language and communication.

  i know a joke that’s been stuck in my head for about twenty years now, because it is ONLY funny in french — try it in any other language, and it can’t be done. and yet, for the rest of my days, i’ll chuckle at the thought of an austrian trying to buy an airplane ticket to get out of paris…

  racist? whatever. i have more fun laughing at myself than i do at anybody i’ve ever met. that joke i can’t forget? it’s not funny to me because the austrian is a jerk, or because the parisian clerk is so anxious to get rid of him — it’s FUNNY to me because the twist of language truly cramps my US-made brain.

  and, having been raised here in the states, i have to say that most of my favorite mistranslations are still stupid things we ‘americans’ have carried to other countries in our ‘wonderful’ attempts to be ‘cosmopolitan’…

  “I am a jelly doughnut,” anybody? and i think we’ve all heard the one about why chevrolet could not seem to sell their famous Nova in mexico? in fact, i seem to recall an absolutely hysterical advertising campaign, when coca-cola first tried to make a big push into china…

  you get the idea. or at least, some of you do. and for the rest:

  CAN’T TAKE A JOKE?
  YOU COULD BE SUFFERING FROM IRONY-POOR BLOOD.
  TRY NEW ONE-A-DAY PLUS IRONY…

  peace,
  -simon
  a.k.a. simon says

• 168 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:35 pm

  it’s been said many times, but it can never be said TOO many times…. ANYBODY who thinks this is racist is retarded and unable to separate the idea of something being humorous from having actual maliscious feelings toward someone. More than that, they obviously haven’t experienced ACTUAL racism before. The way the translation sounds to english speakers is what’s funny, not “look how stupid this translator is” (at least for me, and I think most people here). I can only hope that when I make mistakes in the other languages i speak, people can get as much amusement out of it.

  Bottom line: LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE.

  to the person/people who say ‘get over youselves’- I think you need to direct that line to yourself. You’re taking it waaay too seriously

• 169 miken // Mar 13, 2006 at 3:40 pm

  Breathtaking! I love a good bad translation.

• 170 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:18 pm

  Frucking phunny.

• 171 Luís // Mar 13, 2006 at 5:34 pm

  Absolutely hilarious stuff!! Almost died laughing! And the Drinks (Coca Coca and Sprit)and comment are awsome. What do we need extra “ingnidients” for?

  Brilliant!!!!!!!!! Loved it!

• 172 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 6:03 pm

  That was just amazing.
  I hope I get to see more.

• 173 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:36 pm

  I can understand this as everyday occurrences in Mainland China, but I can’t understand how they can have misspelled so many words such as Coca Cola and Sprite because translation programs don’t misspell words, and dictionaries don’t have “fuck” as its first definition for 干 … @_@ …

• 174 chris tucker // Mar 13, 2006 at 7:48 pm

  We think you’re all so frickin whitewashed that you dont see it as even a lil bit racist. How about we re-do this with the jewish, spanish, german, or african languages.

  Please, don’t tell me to lighten up. If it wasnt for ppl that didnt stand up for you kowtowing, “Yessuh”, “Me want no trouble” asses, you think you would like America as much as you do now?

  We hope THE MAN keeps you down you sellout bootches!

• 175 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:18 pm

  This is about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I think it was a nice gesture on the part of the restaurant owners to at least try to welcome foreign customers (few enough American restaurants go to that effort), although their translator should perhaps be forced to drink the “big bowl immerses miscellaneous germ”. Thanks for putting it on, with a good sprinkling of sarcasm to boot. I couldn’t stop laughing! Who needs to work out anymore? Thanks to Rahoi.com, I have abs of steel!

• 176 Tom 7 // Mar 13, 2006 at 8:31 pm

  glonous

• 177 Anonymous // Mar 13, 2006 at 9:58 pm

  hell that was funny as hell fuck the salt

• 178 max // Mar 13, 2006 at 9:59 pm

  Thanks for posting this gem, and thanks to the helpful anonymous commentators for helping me understand what’s going on! The hardest I’ve laughed alone in as long as I can remember…

• 179 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 12:26 am

  OMG, that was sooooo effin’ funny! Please keep your racist sense of humor, and continue to belittle other ethnic groups, and their attempt at learning english! I mean really, I think you are just. So. Funny! You know what would be hilarious is if you wrote out a menu in english, and attempted to translate it into Chinese calligraphy. What hilarity would ensue!! Total spasmatic chuckling from every orifice. Meanwhile, why stop with just the Chinese? I think you should post something humorous, and entertaining about Jews, and African Americans. Better yet, post something funny about some white guy - y’know, like those beheadings. … oh wait, that’d ONLY be funny to some Iraqi dudes.

  Humor is relative. Don’t breed stereotypes, misconceptions, and hate. M-Fers like you breed it. M-Fers giving you props here are too ignorant to realize otherwise.

  ~Peace.

• 180 HighKnee // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:01 am

  “Waiter, I would like to order the strange flavoured bone, please!”

• 181 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 6:26 am

  I believe the rurality salad is garden salad. I would guess what happened is that these salads are common US restaurant salads, with the names translated to Chinese, then translated back to English. Something was lost in the process, so it seems.

• 182 Shaffer // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:06 am

  The “forest frog” is fallopian tubes of a kind of frog. It’s from frogs indeed!

  “Add a peaceful” is from transliteration of Galliano.

  “Beautiful Pole” is the brand of the sauce, I guess.

  STAGHSSD is the misspelling of spaghetti.

  “sidersts” should be French Toast.

  But I cannot figure out why the high-grade Shaoxing wine changed into “Good to eat mountain” yet.

• 183 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:26 am

  FAKE! They can make mistakes, but not this much. What building is in the background?

• 184 John Vinson // Mar 14, 2006 at 8:43 am

  Very funny! My late father brought home a book from China, entitled “Correctly English In Hundred Day” - maybe the menu translator studied from a modern edition!

  I’m sure that many of us would make equally hilarious mistakes translating into Chinese, of course!

• 185 me // Mar 14, 2006 at 9:15 am

  delicious fuck articock and king’s pole white sauce shoot sky

• 186 rekiwi // Mar 14, 2006 at 10:58 am

  As far as fakes, the boxes around the text are called JPEG artifacts. They are a result of JPEG’s lossy compression, not inept Photoshopping.

  As far as racism, everyone is effectively a retard in a language they don’t speak. (Sorry, PC Police! I should say a “low-functioning individual”.) Why not highlight and celebrate our shared ineptitude rather than preach and posture?

  There’s a reason why Mrs. Malaprop’s name has been enshrined in the English language. It’s damned funny. Anyone who doesn’t laugh at “Man fruit braise the north almond” is taking life, and themselves, way too seriously.

• 187 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 11:40 am

  These are fake. There is no correlation to the chinese characters. One translation says mountain, there is no character for mountain which is easy because it looks like a W. Try harder guys.

• 188 Anonymous // Mar 14, 2006 at 12:22 pm

  And this is what happens when people get translation jobs based on guanxi (connections), and not the actual ability to translate !!!

• 189 Y. R. 言念平 // Mar 14, 2006 at 1:23 pm

  I had to stop reading halfway through because my rib cage started to hurt from the laughing…will come back when I recover a bit.

  This is totally not intentional. No one could be that clever.

• 190 Theadeaus // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:09 pm

  At least these have the excuse of machine traslations. not like when in Spanish Class when we went to a spanish restaurant and i tried to order chili con carne and said leche con carne. the looks i got then… I think i could have hidden behind a salt shaker by that point!

  Also i do not speak or read chinese but i do watch a lot of translated cooking shows from japan and china. Beautiful Pole i think may refer to bean sprouts which have the root and leaf removed and they are said to look like the staff of the monkey king. and are also called the complaint vegitable. but Beautiful Pole would sound like a plausible translation of the descriptor of the ingredient.

• 191 Theadeaus // Mar 14, 2006 at 2:33 pm

  to the person that said

  “These are fake. There is no correlation to the chinese characters. One translation says mountain, there is no character for mountain which is easy because it looks like a W. Try harder guys.”

  try using a charachter translater sometime

  they are all over the net
  you know this thing you are on now?

  that is the traditional charachter for Mountain pass. specifically narrow ones. whihc means it is more than likely