The name of this place was something like "Big World Park." 'Twas like Epcot center, an effigy of the world in miniature. The purpose of the park seemed to be to replicate the architecture of the world, without populating it with fake citizens.
Once again, they had a good idea. Their reproductions of the look of the American southwest and the churches and temples of earth are spot on, from the outside.
The only trouble is, it was DESERTED. It was like playing the game "Myst," in which the only puzzle to solve was how to go the bathroom without touching anything.
The only parts that contained any human activity were the animal park and the main stage, where "representatives" of other countries performed for a atypically polite Southern Chinese audience. The animal area was a brutal reminder of circuses before Soleil. This bear could do nothing but stand, face forward, or get choked. The lions and tigers were crammed together with a panther in a cage the size of a small bathroom. Very depressing, but not half as cruel as what happens daily at any area restaurant. Let's move on.
These guys were wearing jackets labeled "Ethiopia," so I'm assuming they were imported as part of this world showcase.
This girl was smoking hot. And talented, though I can't see this having applications in the real world.
Yes, even with the pit sweat.
Amazingly, the longest demonstration in the showcase was of a Chinese Qigong master. For those of you who don't know, Qigong is chinese for "complete B.S."
His strength supposedly came from his lifelong cultivation of his internal energy, which apparently prohibited him from doing even one sit-up.
And here I thought the Japanese were the only perverts in East Asia. I'll let you guess whether he's wearing pants in the bottom half of this photo.
Another segment was a guy who rode a bide like Tommy Lee did Pam Anderson. He rode it silly. And in the finale, he disassembled the bike while riding it.
There was one other section with activity - the rides. And I don't mean Space Mountain. I mean the rusty, scary-as-hell castoffs from the 1918 World's fair, run by people with even less education than the tattooed ex-con pulling the lever on the Tilt-a-Whirl at Coney Island. No way in hell was I getting anywhere near these damned things. But the few people at the park did.
One other thing to note about the park, besides an absolutely immense, though drained, swimming pool: There were many region-appropriate restaurants peppered throughout the park. But in keeping with Rahoi's law of Chinese amusement parks, they were boarded up, sadly unused, mini ghost towns where strudel, burgers, and flan once were served by girls in costume. The only place to get food was from the ubiquitous stand with dried snacks and two coolers, one for drinks and one for ice cream.
Even still, all considered, it was good times. One of these days, they'll get it right. I've heard that in the summer, this place goes off. I'll have to remember that when I'm at Magic Mountain with the other half.
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